Fun With Sunny and Sides
by fantasyaddict101
Summary: Post ROTF. Your favorite Twins are here to stay...well, between their private quarters, Ratchet's medical wing, other bot's private quarters, blowing up stuff, making femmes mad and...you get the point.
1. Mind Washing

**Hello! This will be a full story full of pranks by the Twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, and brotherly "love."**

**These are partly for my BFF on Fanfiction, Inspire165 who is in love with 'all-things-Twins.'**

**Expect some mature humor (especially in later chapters).**

**I have a lot of ideas for pranks, and I'll post them as soon as I get the chance. **

**Any ideas for pranks are gratefully accepted, but may not be incorporated into the story.**

**This takes place sometime after Revenge of the Fallen, but for the sake of this story, there are a ton of Autobots, and Sideswipe is red and the twin of Sunstreaker, yellow.**

**Finally, thanks a million for hummergrey!!! Her Transformers stories really made my mind juices begin flowing! More about her next chapter! A good portion of these chapters are from bits from her story.  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Read and review!!!!!!!!!!**

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"I'm soo bored." Sunstreaker complained as he laid on the concrete floor of the NEST base nest to Sideswipe, his twin.

"Wanna go change all of Jazz's CD's to Mozart?" Sideswipe asked, also bored.

"Nah, we did that last week. How about we make a hologram of Mikaela naked and have her walk around the Base?"

"No," Sides said casually, "Too dangerous."

Sunny straightened up to get a better look at his identical twin. "How so? You never say 'too dangerous.'"

"A wise bot once said ' a fembots scorn hath no comparison to the Pit."

"Wasn't that a human who said that, except with 'woman' and 'Hell?'"

"Possibly. Want to go override Ironhide's cannons?"

"No, I don't feel like dealing with Ironass today."

Just then, Bumblebee walked by.

Sides lazily bent his head back to look at Sunny. "Wanna go mess with Bee's head?"

Sunny shrugged, "Not reallll- okay," he said standing up.

The duo jogged to Bee.

"Hey Bee. What's up?"

Bumblebee looked warily between the two, "The ceiling."

The Twins ignored him and began a fake conversation between themselves.

"So did you hear?"

"Oh yeah bro, so sad."

"What's wrong?" Bee asked.

"I can't believe no one is doing anything about it!"

"I wish we could!"

"Golly, gee. We could do a bunch! But Mr. Ratchet barely lets us off the Base anymore."

"Too bad we can't warn Sam."

"What about Sam! What's going on?" Bee demanded.

"Oh it's horrible man," Sunny said with convincing distress, "These people have been abducting thousands of innocent children every day."

"How?"

"There are two ways," Sides continued, "The first one is called a 'school bus.' It's this big, long yellow contraption that lures kids on,"

"Yeah, yeah," Sunny stepped in, "Then they take them to this jail-like place. Only the few lucky ones will come back home."

"What do they do to them there?"Bee asked worry creeping into his features.

"Mind control," they said together. Sunny kept talking, "The second is called:"

Sunny paused as Sides breathed, "Dun-dun-dun" to dramatically build the suspense. "The ice cream truck!"

Sides's key changed a bit higher, "Dun. Dun. DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNT!"

"A person will drive the big white 'molester machine' that also has some colorful pictures on the side. Kids-"

"Especially Sam's age," Sides inserted.

"Cannot possibly resist. Then the 'ice cream man' will give them a treat, and in return, the kids will give him green stuff willingly!"

"What's the green stuff?" Bee asked totally immersed in their ghost story.

"Their souls!"

"Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!" Sides chuckled deeply in a demonic manner.

"No. Way." Bee said wide-optic-ed.

"Way."

"Frag! I gotta call Sam and warn him!" Bumblebee called Sam in front of the Twins using his built-in Blue Tooth, but only to receive a busy signal. "Frag," he cursed again as he began to write a text message.

Sunstreaker's and Sideswipes's frames began to quiver with internal laughter, but Bee was too preoccupied to notice.

**Sam, cll me ASAP. B. **

**PS Wtch out 4 yllo buses +/or ice cream mn.**

"So Bee, do you want to help us stop this madness?"

Bee nodded feverishly.

The Twins exchanged glances.

"Okay, tomorrow morning around 6:30 -7:00 AM, we'll go put an end to some mind-washing school buses!"

Bee nodded and began to jog away eager to get some re-charge in so he could wake up early tomorrow.

"Oh! But Bee!" Sides called, "If Sam calls you back, don't believe anything he says, he might already be brainwashed!"

Bee gasped, "B-but what if he is? What should we do?"

Sides put a heavy hand on the yellow mech's shoulder. "We'd have to reverse the process."

"How do you do that?"

"It's too terrible to describe!" Sunny cried.

"Let's just hope for the best."

* * *

**[7:20 AM]**

"Sunny, did you print out those bus routes yet?" Sideswipe asked as he slipped on his red battle armor in the morning.

"Yeah, did it last night...right after I _did_ Arcee. Heh-heh."

Sides snorted, "Yeah right you loser. Arcee is too good for an ego maniac like you...besides, if you did _do_ her last night, I suppose I wasn't aware I was involved with a 'three way.'"

About to make a snappy comeback, the shared rooms' door opened up revealing a worn-out looking Bumblebee.

"Sam is brain washed," he mumbled.

"Bee man, I'm so sorry. But we must forge on and save any other children from the same fate!"

After breaking out, Sunstreaker led the way to the nearest bus-stop. About 7 girls and 5 boys ranging from 15 to 18 years old stood in a loose group around a stop sign.

The three mechs hid in the partial darkness behind some tall hedges.

After a few minutes of waiting, the dreaded yellow machine came roaring up and over the hill and made its decent towards the human's group.

Bee's blue optics widened as he noticed that the bus already had a bunch of kids on it!

"Sickening," Sunny said sharply, "Go, Bee, now!"

Bee placed his cannon on the pavement and sent a small charge towards the front tires. The tires popped and the bus halted immediately. All the kids and the driver filed out and sat on the sidewalk as the larger lady talked into a bulky black radio.

On Sides's count, the three jumped out over the hedges, grabbed the bus and jumped together over the houses until they couldn't possibly be seen; all happening within two and a half seconds.

"Guess we're not going to school today," an attractive dirty blonde girl with a black hat said to her curly brown haired friend who was taking pictures with her cell phone.

The Auto-bots repeated the process six more times, then couldn't find anymore.

Later that day, Bee still hyped up from his victories, Sam came bursting into the quarters where the Twins and Bee were hanging out.

"Bee, why were you and these dumb afts in the paper today?!"

Sam held up a crude picture taken from a student's cell phone of a large rectangle (bus) and three curled up figures jumping over a building.

"I missed my bus in the morning because _someone_ stole it!"

"No, Sam, you've been brain washed. You need to go to treatment,"

Sam huffed, "Bee man, for the tenth time, all kids all over the world, go to school to be educated. It's not a 'mind control facility,'"

"That's what the government wants you to think," Sides mumbled under his breath.

Bumblebee picked up his human and rushed him into a human sized room. The Twins followed closely behind.

"Bee! Let me go!"

"I'm sorry, but Sunstreaker says there's only one way to cure you,"

Metal clamps snapped down around Sam's wrists and ankles as he stumbled into a chair with only a T.V. in front of it.

"And how do you plan on doing that!" Sam sassed as the T.V. screen turned blue before the DVD began playing.

"11 hours straight of Barney and Friends...with sing-a-long!"

"What!? No, no, nono, Beeeeeee! Help! Someone! Optimus! No! The horror!"

"It's the only way," Sides said.

Sam's eyes narrowed, "You two," and the door slammed into place.

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**Hi again, hope you liked the first chapter! If you liked this, you should like my other story called The Locker Room Prank about the Twins growing up on Cybertron and the pranks they would pull during gym class!!!!If you didn't like this chapter so much, please stick around, the more comfortable I get with these characters, the better their pranks will be. As I said before, later chapters will be more riske...which = ROFL.  
**

**I hope maybe you've found some quotes in this chapter that you'd like to put in your profile! Tell me if you do!**

**Please review!!!!!!!!**

**The button is right there! *points downwards-ish* Just at least say 'hi!' I also accept 'You suck!' but only if you reallyreallyreallly (x45) really mean it.  
**

**No! I see your cursor moving towards the 'Back' button. No! Get back here! *jumps and grabs cursor* *drags cursor to 'Review Chapter' button* Click! CLICK!**

**Why are you still reading this! Click the button! Write some words! It's not that hard!!!!**

**Thank you for those who've already left a review. You rock!!!!!!!**


	2. The Crow

**I don't own Transformers, the government, or atomic bombs, Hoover vacuums or anything else mentioned in these chapters.**

**Thank you 'rhymezone' (dot) com for definitions!**

**

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"We'll get Sam later," Sides said as he plopped onto his re-charge berth. "Today, let's just recharge or something. If they come in here and ask if we've seen Sam, we've been re charging all day."

"Wow, creative story. Hey, you know what I've noticed,"

"What?"

"We have racy photos of Arcee, Flareup (well, that one was easy), Firestar, and even Chromia and Elita, remember, from when we were looking through some old files, plus some."

"And?" Sides asked wanting to get to the point.

"We don't have one of Ratchet's femme, Moonracer,"

Sides thought about it, "Hm, you're right. Want to hack into Hatchet's office later?"

"I'll go do it now,"

"Wait!" Sides called, "Wheeljack said he might be helping Ratchet with something today, so make a diversion."

"Yes, Mother," Sunny was out in a flash. He rolled down the corridors and found the nearest fire alarm. He pulled out the tab and pushed it down sending a loud ring throughout the Base. Mechs and mostly humans rushed out of NEST and gathered outside. Meanwhile, Sideswipe continued to recharge, un-phased.

Sunstreaker slipped silently into Ratchet's med bay. The office door was locked and Ratchet had installed an optic-reader lock. Luckily, Optimus wasn't as updated.

Sunny picked the lock on Optimus's private quarters. From Optimus's room, there was a not-so-secret-to-Twins door that led into Ratchet's med bay for emergencies. Since all were no outside, Sunny went easily in and into Ratchet's private office. The office was also Ratchet's living quarters. Sunny scanned the cabinets finding nothing. He knew from past experience that he only had about a minute left till everyone came back in. He kicked the cabinet and a small datapixel fluttered out. He gingerly grasped the Cybertron equivalent of human pictures and scanned it. Moonracer. With 'Love you for eternity Ratchy-poo, Moonracer' written on the bottom in Cybertronian.

Sunny detected the doors opening to let bots inside again. He shoved the small picture from Cybertron in his chassis and sprinted back to his room.

"Got it?" Sides asked stretching. "What took you so long? You were gone like…5 full minutes?"

"Couldn't find the datapixel right away,"

Sides groaned, "All you could find was a datapixel? It takes _hours _to transfer those into regular size,"

"I swear it will be worth it. Look at what it says on the bottom."

Sides scanned it, then smiled. "Let's get to work,"

Sunny set up the transferring sequence Wheeljack created a few orns ago to take mini-datapixels and copy them onto paper. This prototype was still new and took a while to transfer, but so far it was the only way.

After a few hours of only loading the information, the Twins had slipped into recharge.

KAW- KAW.

"Who- when –what?" Sunny yelled as he jolted upright in his berth a few minutes later.

"Hm?" Sides mumbled. "Notin' go- charge…" he began to snore.

Sunny looked at the transferring machine that was beginning the copying process cautiously lay back down on the berth. He figured that he could spare some re-charge tome as the machine processed the photo. The sun was still up, but it didn't bother the two mechs, this being normal back on Cybertron.

KAW- KAW.

"Slag!" Sunny screamed, once again awakened. "What is that?" he went to the window. A beautiful black crow stared smugly from a branch parallel to the Twin's window.

KAW-KAW-KAW-KAW.

"Clap your hands, the bird will think it's a gun shot and fly away," Sides murmured then slipped again into recharge. Sunny clapped his hands once. The bird cocked its head. He clapped twice, louder.

The black crow flapped off.

"There. Bye dumb-aft." Sunny was just about to sit back down when-

KAW-KAW-KAW!

"Get outta here!" he yelled at the bird causing it to leap to a higher branch. "Shoo. Vamose. Adiós. Goodbye. Shalom. Aloha. See-ya later. Sayonara. Zai Jian. Au Revoir. Arrivederci. Hasta la vista baby…Primus, what language does this fricken bird speak!"

"Birdinese. Leave it alone," Sides sighed.

KAW-KAW.

"'Kaw' one more time bird and you're dead!"

KAW-KAW-KAW-KAW-KAW-KAW

"That bird is taunting me!"

"I'm sure it is, Sunny,"

KAW-KAW-KAW.

"That's it, no more Mr. Nice-bot."

"Dude, you're _so_ lame,"

Ignoring his brother, Sunny let out a 5 second long jackhammer of bullets near the bird.

"Frag! 'You trying to kill that poor little bird!"

"No, I just shot near-"

KAW-KAW.

"What the frag?! Go away you little beast!" he shot directly at the bird. "There, you mutha-"

KAW-KAW.

After several more attempts, Sunny gave up and listened to an annoying, and uneven song of KAW-KAW…KAW-KAW. KAW-KAW-KAW as he watched the machine continue processing the datapixel.

"Sides, what does the word 'atomic' mean?"

"No sure, look it up. Why?"

"Because I'm confused, and I let my mind wander...Wheeljack will say, 'That's an atom' which means small, while others will say 'That's atomic' as in big." Sunny looked up the word. "The root of atomic, atom, means _noun:_**:** (nontechnical usage) a tiny piece of anything or _noun_**:**(physics and chemistry) the smallest component of an element having the chemical properties of the element. That sounds harmless,"

"Oh gosh, that's you're plotting face. What are you thinking that I can't seem to detect?"

"Probably a stupid plan,"

"Leave me out of…oh never mind, what's your idea?"

Sunny explained his plan to Sides.

"Oh," Sides mused, "Well, that can't be too bad, right?"

Sides went to Wheeljack while Sunny kept guard of the transacting picture. "Hey Wheeljack?" Sides asked to the room. He couldn't find Wheeljack, but he heard him.

"Gah! Grr." Jack moaned and grunted.

"Frag," Sides whispered. 'Could Wheeljack possibly be with a femme?' he thought to himself. 'Would I really want to ruin his moment?' Sideswipe shrugged internally and walked in, a hand over his optics. "Hey Wheeljack, I hope I'm not interrupting anything but…" Sides parted his fingers so he could see. "Oh," he lowered his hand. Wheeljack was on the floor wrestling with some vacuum-looking thing.

"One sec, Sides. Uumph." He yanked some wires out and the machine went still. Then it roared back to life.

"Hi, I thought you were…nothing. Is Ratchet here? I thought he said he was going to work on something with you?"

"Uh...no." Wheeljack said a bit nervously, probably from wrestling with the glitched vacuum.

"Um, how do you make atomic bombs?" Sides asked since the elder bot's sound receptors were not nearby.

Without thinking, Wheeljack sent him a portfolio of details (that only he and Optimus had) on how to make one of the human's petty devices, and then continued his tackling with his contraption.

"Here ya go. That'll be 60 dollars please," Sides said carelessly.

"Good…oh this is easy, I bet I made one on these on Cybertron before," Sunny laughed looking at the instructions translated into Cybertronian. "We're not an advanced robotic race for nothing now are we."

The processing machine would only take about 2 more hours so in their spare time, the crow kaw-ed and Sunny constructed his atomic bomb, which means "little bomb" right? Meanwhile Sides yelled at the unresponsive machine every time it froze up…

"Done," Sunny and Sides said at the same time.

Sunny held up his small device while Sides pressed, "Print" on the machine.

KAW-KAW-KAW.

"Okay you little devil, get over here," Sunny whispered as he raised his arm to throw. The bird flew off. "Slag! Sides, take the machine, the bird's on the run!" Sides grabbed the portable machine and chased after Sunny as Sunny held his explosive as he chased after the bird. Twelve miles later they encountered another forest, which the bird flew in.

Sides vented, "We jumped over two highways 10 miles back and now were at this tight forest miles away from civilization for a fraggin' bird while I haul around this stupid machine that is _taking forever_!" he emphasized the last words directly at the printing module. Suddenly the printer began to spit out a quarter of the picture. "Ha! My yelling at inanimate objects does-"

"Shh! You want this bird to get away again?"

Apparently tired, the sleek crow nuzzled its beak in its feathers and settled on a branch.

Sunny threw the bomb point-blank at it.

"3…2…"

BOOM. KABOOM. BOOM.

The Twins screamed as the force of the blast pushed them 100's of meters out.

"Sunny, did you plant a giant mutant mushroom I'm not informed about?" Sides asked drunkenly. Dazed, Sunny watched a small mushroom cloud form at the center of his blast sight.

"Oh. Slag."

Dozens of com-link messages were sent and received a nano-second later; the Twins confirming that it was just a "test" and no threat. The Autobots back at NEST were busy convincing the government that it was all just an "unfortunate military test. No danger to the U.S.".

After the half hour of confusion, the Twins stood up. Sunny looked up the word "atomic" again. Last time he had looked up "atom."

"Atomic," he reported, "_adjective_**:** (weapons) deriving destructive energy from the release of atomic energy. Example: 'Atomic Bombs'" he was silent for a second, "Well that could have been some pretty fragging useful information!!!"

Sides wasn't listening though, a few meters away from him, upside down was a thin, shiny surface. Sides lunged at it. Sunny almost grabbed the picture from him also. They held it backwards, "Ready to see it?"

"Yep,"

Sides began to turn his wrist when-

KAW.

A black shape swooped down suddenly and snatched the picture from his servos. Dumb founded, the Twins stared at his empty hands. Sunstreaker's optics snapped up and locked on-

"Holy. Mother. Fragger." Sunny gaped.

"How'd he-? Explosion-? Not possible." Sides stammered.

"I'M GONNA MURDER THAT MOTHER FRAGGING BIRD IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!"

Sunny continued the rest of the day along with Sides running after the sleek blur of black feathers that just kept evading their fire.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MEANWHILE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"This is fun," the medic said as he tilted the joystick.

"Ratchet? Having fun? This is unheard of!" Wheeljack joked as he watched Ratchet make the mechanical bird fly into Sunny's face for the third time.

"Thank you Jack. This has to be one of the best gifts any one has ever given to me…after my datapixel of Moonracer. I'm so glad we decided to install this camouflaged security camera outside the Twins' window. The sounds were a nice touch."

"Thank you. Oo, flaunt the picture in their optics again."

Ratchet steered the bird to fly directly in their faces, the Twins straining to get a glimpse of the picture in the bird's claws.

"This'll teach 'em, to stay out of my private office." Ratchet mumbled.

"How'd you know to spy on the Twins?"

"First of all, I'm still angry that you actually gave them the instructions on how to invent bombs-"

"Sorry!" Jack apologized again, "I tripped over my Hoover600000000 when I rushed back here."

"Anyways, I knew something was wrong when the fire alarm went off...also, they're the Twins, what more reason do I need? So I thought that this little invention we've been making would be put to good use,"

"Why didn't you just go stop them?"

Ratchet shrugged, "1.) I didn't think that Sunny would actually follow the instructions correctly. 2.) I ould have blown my cover if I just came in there for no reason. 3.) I knew this would be more fun."

"So do you still want to use it on Decepticons?" Wheeljack asked.

Ratchet shook his head, "No. This is more beneficial."

* * *

**Re-Cap: Basically, the crow was actually a camera being controlled by Ratchet. Sides mentioned earlier that he had heard that Wheeljack and Ratchet were making something (foreshadowing). Ratchet saw them making the bomb (plus the picture) through the eyes of the 'crow' and made the Twins leave and go far away to prevent harm.  
**

**ATTENTION: DO NOT I repeat DO NOT look up how to make atomic bombs! I'm dead serious. I've never tried and neither should you. I don't know what would happen, but I KNOW that **_**nothing good**_** could come from it.**

**I, fantasyaddict101, am not responsible for anything!!!!**

**This is a fictional story!!!!**

**Sides: "Is not!"**


	3. That's What She Said

**Please, just use your imagination for this one...**

**Read and review pwease! ;P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers in any form, if I did, there would be a whole lot more CGI Transformer films!!!**

**Note: Diego Garcia TO THIS STORY AND MYSELF is a big island which is half a military base for Auto-bots and humans alike; then a large gap of land separates them from a regular community of people. Sam and Mikaela live with them on Base/ NEST.  
**

* * *

_I will not use Barney as a torture device or use others ignorance to my amusement._

_I will not use Barney as a torture device or use others ignorance to my amusement._

_I will not use Barney as a torture device or use others ignorance to my amusement._

_I will not use Barney as a torture device or use others ignorance to my amusement._

_I will not use Barney as a torture device or use other's ignorance to my amusement._

"Good, only three million five hundred thousand more times to go," Sideswipe stated to his brother in the empty room as he looked at the five hundred thousand times he had already written this sentence. "What about you? Have you finished writing '_I will not create nuclear devices unless under extreme supervision of either Ironhide or Ratchet_' yet?"

"I used the copier," Sunstreaker responded simply as he doodled on the back of a crumpled paper.

"Ratchet will know,"

"Yeah. But I had a tattoo idea that I needed to put down for later. Way more important!"

"At least the Hatchet didn't make us write it, quoting him 'Make you two wastes of metal write until you fraggin' hands fall off! Then when that happens, use your mouth to write! You can stop somewhere around ten zillion!' "

"I know!" Sunny agreed, "If it weren't for ole' Optimus coming in, the copier probably would've went on fire from all the copies!" that earned him a dirty look from his brother, "I suppose we deserved it though," he said remembering the way Sam was curled up into a feeble position muttering, "I hate you, you love me..." after the clamps receded... Also for setting fire onto half the woods of Diego Garcia.

"How long was he in there after we forgot about him anyways?"

"I think, like, 17 plus hours,"

Sunstreaker tapped his yellow digits on the robot sized table as Sides continued writing his punishment.

Sunny's copied, yet completed pile of papers were in a messy pile beside him. It was pretty dumb to put them in a copy room to fulfill their punishment.

With a sigh Sunny snagged one of Sides's completed papers and pressed in the number of times to copy.

Sideswipe placed his pen down in defeat of his impatient twin.

"When do you think Hatchet will let us off the Base?"

"A year after we offline," Sides chuckled.

"Doesn't matter, we always sneak out anyhow and nobody really seems to care."

"Well, just in case, we should only do a small joke today. Something annoying, not destructive."

They pondered ideas, but nothing seemed good.

"Eh, maybe I'm not in the mood. We shouldnt' try too hard."

Sunny grinned, "That's what she said."

* * *

Ironhide spotted them escaping from their room. "Hey! What are you two doing out!"

"That's what she said," Sunny snickered.

"Who said what?" Hide asked. The Twins just smiled and Hide forgot about it. "Nevermind, hey, the mail man just came, can you go grab his package?"

"That's what she said,"

"Just go get the mail!"

The Twins slowly turned around and began to walk towards the door, "Faster! Faster, both of you!"

"That's what she said,"

The package was a toy for Annabelle, Captain Lennox's daughter. Ratchet noticed what they were doing and came over, "Do you need this box anymore? I need to ship something out."

"Are you talking about the proton blaster blueprints that the president has to verify?" Ironhide inquired.

"Yes,"

"I'd get a bigger one. You would have to really shove them in there, they're too big,"

"That's what she said," Sunny squeaked.

"Are you two okay?" Ironhide asked because of their recycled response. Hide grunted as he tried to get the toy out of the box without breaking it. "Frag, it's stuck! I can't get it out,"

"That's what she said,"

"Who is this 'she' you two keep referring to?"

"What is that thing?" Ratchet asked staring at the box within a box.

"That's what she said,"

"Shut up!" Ironhide ordered, "It's called...Femisapien. I read that it is a popular robot toy for females."

"But it's so tiny, what could it possibly do?"

"That's what she said...and Sides proved her wrong," Sunny sassed. The red mech slapped him upside the head.

Hide finally tore apart the card board revealing another box with a white and purple, curvaceous, fembot posed behind the plastic. Hide brought the box near his optics, "Says...59 hidden functions, must mean that you have to press certain button combinations for it to reveal something,"

"That's what she said...sorta,"

Ratchet ignored them again and pondered, "59? What, they couldn't think of 1 more for an even number? "

"Well, Annabelle will never know the difference, she's only 8. Can't even count to 20." Hide fumbled with the dozens of tiny latches and wires around Femisapien and finally asked Sunny (who had much thinner fingers) for help."Okay," Hide began to instruct, "I'll hold it while you try to get it out,"

"That's what she said," Sideswipe mumbled a few meters away.

"Sunny, push, push it. No, you're pulling, try to toggle it...You're not toggling right! Don't you know how to toggle! Try twisting it, ugh! You're useless, I bet Sides would do better."

"She said all of that...and she was right," Sides laughed.

Sunny face-palmed himself.

"Who are you talking about!?" Ironhide screamed. After a minute of silence, Hide pushed the batteries into the mini fembot.

Sunny nudged his brother, "Hey Sides, 6 AA slots, sounds like a good time,"

Sides called his bluff, "Yes, but I don't think your little AAA battery will do much good...Then again, my 9 Volt Energizer Max would probably be too big,"

"_Hmm,hmm. Ha-ha. Um,mmm, do wop, hm-hm-hm_," the Femisapien...hummed?

"That's what she said?" Sides said but in more of a question.

"Why is she talking in sexual sounds? Is that like, the language of the future? Oh Primus, just imagine:" Sunny cleared his throat, "Sides, can you pass me that wrench? Oh, faster, faster," Sunny said in a husky and breathless tone.

Sides raised an optic ridge, "Oh Sunny, there is so, _so_ much wrong with you,"

Femisaipen 'walked' which was really just an awkward tilting of her hips as she made the sounds again.

"Seriously though, what's with the 'oh, yes, hmm, um-hm,'?"

Hide read the box again. "Femisaipen speaks in her own language...'emotish.' Oo-kay."

Sides gingerly picked her up. Her shaking stopped. "What happened?"

Sunny grabbed the mini femme and turned her upside down, "You turned her off," Sunny smiled as he pressed a button, "But I turn her on,"

"_Hmm, hm-a-huma, hm-hm, yahmh,_"

"See?" Sunny said matter-of-factually, "That's what she said."

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**I also do not own Femisaipen which belongs to Wowwee toys.**

**This will always be a crack-fit type of story, but I will throw in some story lines and action in future chapters.**

**Review please! ;)**

**Oh, the "future of sexual sounds" was an old conversation that me and some of my friends had once. *sigh*  
**

**'You'll be my bestest buddy!' (for a few minutes at least!)  
**

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	4. Slang

**Okay, I might have said this before but hummergrey, author of one of the best stories I've ever read (and am reading now), If an Autobot, do NOT do the following, is a big inspiration to this story!**

**Please read her story. (after you finish reading mine *cough*) It's AMAZING! Totally hilarious, there's a little drama, action, everything! Story arcs and everything that a good story has! Some of the rules will be referred to in later chapters.**

**Thanx hummergrey! Yo' is my hero!**

**Review please. :)  
**

* * *

"Yo home skillets. 'Sup?" Mudflap called to the major twins Sunny and Sides.

"What did you call me?" Sides asked.

"Mudflap, don' speak chain-gang wit dem. Annunciate!" Skids scolded.

"Wha'? You my mama? Yo' one ugly mama,"

"We gots da same mama! And da' same face, moron!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down. Is there something you need to tell us?" asked Sunny.

"Naw." The minor twins left abruptly.

"I don't understand a thing they say," Sunny murmured to his brother.

Suddenly Sides grinned. "Yo home-dog, ya wanna go yank Hatchet's chain?"

"As long as you don't mean it literally, let's go!"

* * *

"Yo-yo, my home dawg Hatchet, wa' sup?" Sunny yelled striding into the medic wing.

Ratchet cocked an optic ridge. "The ceiling? Wait," he turned around. "Where's the dog? I told you, I don't want any animals in my med bay…so _get out_!"

"Whoa, Gramps, take it easy, don't go nuts on me,"

Ratchet tilted his head. "Grandfather? But I am in no relation to you whatsoever…at least I better not,"

"Wha-ev Pops, you seen Sides 'round?"

"Now I'm your Father? That's physically impossible!"

Sideswipe finally came in, a gaudy medallion hanging from his neck.

"Woo! Jo- looking hot," Sunny hollered.

"Who's Joe? How could you know if Sides is hot, you don't have heat seeker vision! " Ratchet interrupted. "And why are you two talking like the other data-aches?"

"'Cause we fly Ratch to the Hatch. Holla!" Sides said with various hand movements.

"Sides! What did you do to your hand!?" screamed Ratchet.

"Oh this?" Sides held up his red hand, "I added another finger, so now I have 5."

"Why?"

"So I can do this," he held up the middle finger.

"Oh burn!" Sunny laughed.

"Who is bur-? Nevermind…what does that symbol mean?" Ratchet inquired.

"Frag–you."

"Sides, you didn't need another finger. You could have just learned a lil' Italiano." Sunny bent his right arm and pushed his left knuckle into the inner elbow of the right.

"Hey! I don't want any of that trash in this med bay… so, once again, _get out_!"

"Don' be a wet blanket Hatchet, I wasn't trying to pump-up, but I wanted a convo before rush hour. Yo' sharp as a tack, but you gotta space out every once in a while. But then again," Sunny laughed, "there's no such thing as a free lunch."

"Not trying to yank your chain Hatch," Sunny continued, "but yo da big Kahuna 'round here, not trying to be all 'jury's out' on ya."

Ratchet blinked. "I have no idea what you just said…but I do know one human term," he grabbed his wrench, "It's clobbering time! Get lost! Oo, that was two."

The Twins dove out of the room, and shut the door behind them, two wrenches bounced off the door.

The stood up in front of the closed door and high-fived, "Sunny, did you have any idea what I just said?"

"Not in the slightest, but I think it was something about a car and office supplies,"

Sides shrugged, "Let's get out of this looney-bin,"

CLONK.

Two screwdrivers smashed threw the window of the med bay and slammed into the Twin's heads.

"How. Does. He. Do. It? Ow…" Sunny vented.

"Get with the program Ratch, don't become out dated! Sunny…RUN!"

Ratchet placed his welder kit back down. "Ugh, I have to update more of the human lingo," Ratchet mumbled to himself as he downloaded websites about human-slag of today's world. Just as he was finishing processing the data, Sam walked in.

"Sam!" Ratchet gasped looking at the boy's broken arm. "What happened?"

"Did something stupid. I thought I could win in an arm-wrestle with one of Bumblebee's pinkies…I didn't win."

Ratchet sighed and lifted the human onto the table.

"So…" Sam mumbled, "Can you fix me? Please, and not tell my 'rents."

Ratchet blinked. The latest definition for '_fix_' came up in his database. He stiffened. "Samuel, are you using a human-term?"

Sam remembered that he said 'rents as in parents, "Yes. Sorry if I confused you," he apologized.

Ratchet's optic twitched. "You want…me to do this? Now? Have you thought about this? What if a bot came in?"

"Yes, please just do this now, quickly. And I don't care if every bot on Base watches, as long as no one tells my 're-, er, my parents."

"Won't they know the difference?" Ratchet asked.

"Not if you do a really good job, which I know you will,"

Ratchet scanned his memory for any time he had ever done a procedure for…_this_.

"Won't Mikaela mind? Have you talked to her about this...being mates and all?"

"I'd think she'd be delighted." Sam raised an eyebrow from the oddness of his questions, but answered anyways. "She said if it ever happened to go to you. So could you please do this now? It really hurts. Please?"

Ratchet swallowed.

**2 MINUTES LATER…**

"AH! AH! AH! Help! He's gonna _fix_ me! He's gonna fuckin' _fix_ me! Help! Save me! AHHH!" Sam screamed in a high tone rushing out of the med bay, his broken arm failing beside him.

"Sam! Stop!" Ratchet barked after him. "I thought that's what you were asking for! Sam!"

As they raced by (Sam able to out run the giant robot in his fright), Jazz, Bumblebee, and the both sets of twins backed up, one hand over their chassis, the other over their crotch.

Suddenly Firestar walked by, reading a datapad.

"Hey Star!" Sides cooed, "You lookin' phat today."

Her head snapped around, "Ex-cuse me?"

"You on da fly girl. 'Eh, wanna go have a fender-bender with me?"

She smiled sarcastically, "How 'bout now, dawg." She jumped him, pounding him into the floor.

"Dat's whack man." Mudflap stated.

* * *

**For the record, I'm not really sure of the meanings to anything I wrote in the above chapter. I just looked at the Internet. Good ole Internet.**

**But I do know the meaning of 'fixed.' *snickers***

**Sam: "Yeah...lucky me.**"


	5. Coincidences

"Grr, this is pointless!" Sunstreaker complained to his brother. "No one believes us! Thus making it impossible to mess with their heads!"

Ever since the incident with the school buses, nobody around NEST had been taking Twins seriously; though they did have good reason not to.

"How can we get them to pay attention to us? I'm gonna lose my mind if someone doesn't talk to me soon." Sunny slumped as Sides snorted.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Really bad idea."

"Comon' just tell me…I'll be your best buddy,"

"Now I'm definitely not telling you."

"Come onnnnnnnnn! I need to hear someone else's voice besides the one in my head,"

Sides bit his bottom lip and whisper, "What if we temporarily changed our appearances. Temporarily,"

"What's that supposed to mean? New paint job?"

"I uh, was actually thinking of a more drastic measure…"

**LATER THAT DAY…**

::Signaling Optimus Prime. Possible threat at entryway. Should I investigate?:: Ironhide.

Ironhide contacted his leader using their communications link (com-link) as a tapping was heard at the door. A few minutes later, Optimus came to see what the problem was.

"Two unidentified robots are outside. Should we let them in?"

"Do you detect any Decepticon symbols?"

"No,"

"Then let them in, but be cautious,"

The grand doors swung inwards and two seemingly identical fembots stood in the doorway.

Hound happened to be walking by and let out a long whistle at the two voluptuous femmes as they strode in. One was orange, one dark fuchsia. They smiled at the older mechs as they made their entrance, and as a dozen others crowed around to get a look. They were scantily dressed with only a human's equivalent of a tube top and short-shorts. Their curves dipped in dramatically, tiny at the waist.

"Hello," the orange one began in Cybertronian, "We would like to join your group. We haven't been on Earth very long and are eager to adopt your customs…if you'll accept us,"

"Of course. We would be glad for you to be a resident here at NEST. Have you done any fighting before?" Optimus responded to her in Cybertronian also.

"Me, not so much. But my sister here is a great swords mistress,"

The fuchsia one nodded and unsheathed her double gleaming hot pink swords.

"Well, we can teach you along the way. Unfortunately, we still suffer from Decepticon attacks periodically…Sorry to be rude, but I must-"

The orange one laughed, "I know what you're going to ask, 'Have I or my sister ever been a Decepticon?' The answer is no. Our parents were killed by one of them,"

"Oh my Primus, that's horrible," Jolt stated coming close to the fuchsia sister, "Do you need a hug?" Without a response, Jolt embraced her and gave a wink and thumbs up to the mechs behind her. She didn't hug back, but smiled politely at him.

"Oh, excuse me, I haven't introduced ourselves," the orange one continued, "My name is Streaky. My sister is Swipie,"

"How do you do?" Swipie whispered shyly.

"She's shy," Streaky hinted.

"I bet you two would become good acquaintances with another pair of twins we have here...though i haven't been able to find them today," Optimus murmured.

"Do you have a place were we can recharge?" Swipie asked quietly, "I'm very tired,"

"Yes, we can find some. For now would you like to stay-"

"In my med bay please," Ratchet offered cutting Optimus off.

"Certainly." Streaky noticed the humans looking in, confused because none of them spoke Cybertronian. "What language should we learn…these water sacks are our allies right?"

"English, and yes. They are called humans. Now, I'm sure you are very tired will someone please take them to the med bay?" before Optimus could finish, 10 robots said, "I will!"

Giggling, The new femmes were pulled gently by various unsparkmated Autobots to Ratchet's med bay. Once they were out of hearing, Optimus asked the medical officer, "Why do you want them in the med bay?"

"I'm not sure about them. I want them under my vigil so I can take tests. See if they are whom they say."

**EVEN LATER THAT DAY…**

Streaky and her Twin sister roamed the Base, familiarizing themselves with the surroundings.

As they neared the Training Room, the were greeted with "Hello ladies, I'm Jolt. Would you like a guide for around the Base?"

"No we're fine for now-Ow." Swipie shut up as Streaky gave her a not-so-subtle kick in the leg.

"Yeah, sure. Can you show us the Training Room more?"

"Sure," Jolt said, optics glued to her larger than normal chassis. Streaky pretended not to notice. "What does this do?" she pointed at a curved bench with a bar at one end of the curve.

"It works on your back leg strength,"

"Can I try it?"

"If you so please. So, you lay down there, and slip your legs under there, and bend your legs back,"

Streaky laid down on the bench, stomach down, and put her legs below the bar, then lifted her lower leg behind it. Then she slowly lifted her legs up and down. Swipie sighed and wandered a few meters away.

"Do you want more weight?" Jolt asked his voice quivering a bit from seeing her flawless back and rear flexing with each repetition.

"Yeah, make it harder,"

He slid the bar to 30 thousand pounds. He swallowed seeing her chassis pushed against the hard metal of the bench.

"More," she breathed winking at him after five lifts. His claw was shaky as he moved the weight bar to 50 thousand.

"Harder," she sighed.

Jolt had a lot of trouble removing and replacing the weights for 70 thousand from the tremors in his hand.

She laughed, "Okay, that may be too hard,"

"Um, no, maybe not. You might not be positioned right,"

"Can you position me better?"

With unsure claws, he pulled her down a bit feeling the cool metal of her protoform. He laid a clawed hand on her back to keep her steady.

Her frame quivered a bit as she tried to lift the weight, "Try placing your hand lower," she said seductively. He moved his hand to her lower back, his 'pinky' resting on her aft. She pulled the weights easily this time, "Great, you can press a little harder if you need to." Before he could do anything, Swipie walked over to her sister escaping from an over eager Hound trying to get her to try the 'Chest Press.'

"Can we leave?"

"Why?"

Swipie glared at her twin, "'Cause,"

Streaky rolled her optics, "Go over to the big blue one over at the squatting,"

Swipie growled but did go over to Blurr at the squatting weights.

"Can you teach me how to do this?"

"Sure!" Blurr said excitedly. "'llneedtoteachyou.I'mnotbeingfunny,it'sthe realwaytodoit."

Swipie blinked, but seemed to understand. "Okay, show me,"

Blurr placed a lifting bar on the stilts above her head.

"Stickoutyouraft,"

"What!?"

"Itoldyou,I'mnotjoking. Eitherbealittleembarrassedorriskseriousinjurytoyourlegspermanetly."

Swipie slowly stuck her aft out a bit.

"Littlemore,"

She obeyed, even against the snickers of other mechs.

"Now what?"

Blurr slowly placed the bar in her hands and she bent down to his instructions. Her aft came close to his waist each pull down. Blurr attempted to be a gentle-bot for about 5 lifts, then gave up and inched closer each pull up. Mirage whistled a catcall then coughed and went back to his weight lifting.

Swipie dropped her weight on Blurr's foot and fled the area.

"Swipie!" Streaky called, but Jolt caught her arm before she could leave.

"She'll be fine."

Streaky pressed herself against him, inhaling to expand her chassis. He placed a hand on her hip and slowly moved his way down.

The second before contact, Streaky sprinted away to her sister.

**MED BAY**

"Thank you Ratchet for letting us stay here, it's very nice," Streaky thanked. Swipie tilted her head in her silent acceptance.

"Hey, where does that blue, happy one recharge? Jolt?" the orange twin asked the medic.

"Jolt doesn't sleep, he has an ability to contain electricity within him constantly…words from the not-so-wise, _don't_ hug him after a rainstorm,"

The sisters laughed at Ratchet's playful joke.

Ratchet smiled, "You two can slip out of your armor if you want later tonight. I'm in my office/ berth room all night until daybreak and there are no windows or surveillance cameras in here so no worry of wandering optics."

The two exchanged knowing glances, "Um, thank you for the offer," Swipie said quietly, "But we rather…stay in our armor," Streaky gave a minuscule nod. Ratchet smiled friendly like, but still kept wary, not sure if this was all a prank from two infamous mechs.

"Okay, well, I'll leave you two alone for the night. I'm right there if you need me."

"Goodnight Hat- er, Ratchet!" Streaky said blinking flirtatiously.

The medic stole into his room. Late that night when they were both in recharge he received a com-link connection from Optimus.

::Have you looked at their readings yet?:: Optimus

::Just about to, come in through the back door:: Ratchet

Elita was out with Chromia somewhere so Optimus went through a secret door in the back of his room that attached to the med bay (for emergencies). A long bar on Ratchet's computer reported 95% and then 100%. Ratchet's jaw dropped at the same moment Optimus's did.

"But, we thought…it can't be,"

**~MEANWHILE~**

Flareup wandered the halls, restless. There seemed to be a light coming from Optimus's private quarters. She knew she had seen Elita and Chromia passed out from exhaustion in the Rec Room only about 5 minutes ago. She decided it wouldn't hurt just to say 'hi.'

She knocked on the door. No answer. She pressed her audio receptors to the door. No sounds, Elita wasn't in there. He opened the door a crack, Optimus must have forgotten to lock it.

No one. But, there was a door that she had never seen before in the far wall. Curiosity over came her and she made her way quietly to the opening. It was a passage to Ratchet's quarters. She strained to hear their conversation.

"Optimus, you're never going to believe this, they are actually…you know."

"Should we inform the others?"

"No, I think we should just wait. Hopefully the Twins will reveal themselves soon,"

Flare gasped.

"What was that?"

Flare sprinted silently out of Optimus's quarters and covered her mouth with her hand. _Were they talking about Sunny and Sides? Oh my Primus! _She thought to herself.

**THE NEXT MORNING…**

The new Twins stepped out of the med bay to find the other Auto bots.

"Where are they!" Flareup screamed. She scanned the room and found the brightly colored sisters, "Oh my Primus! You all were fooled by _this_!" Flare said jabbing fingers at them. The mechs of the Base gathered around.

"What do you mean?"

"These two are obviously Sunny and Sides in disguise!"

"Whom?" the female twins asked.

"Cut the slag, guys. I mean, I knew you two were messed up, but I never thought you two were cross dressers!"

"Excuse me?"

"And all of you," Flareup said turning to the gathered group, "Streaky and Swipie? How dumb can you be! Those are horrible names! I thought you two would have been a bit more creative!"

Swipie fumed and stepped up to Flareup, towering over her, "They were our grandmother's names that fought and died in the war shortly after sparking our ancestors. We take the names in pride,"

"Ooookay, so lets pretend that you've never heard the names of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe-"

"What we're men now?" Swipie asked putting her fists on her hips.

"Der, yes."

"You glitch!"

Streaky fumed stepping in front of her sister, "See here glitchy-poo-"

"Streaky, move it, I want a piece of her!"

"No Swipie, you go too far, let me handle this,"

Swipie huffed and crossed her arms as Flareup's triumphant smile began to melt, "Um…comon' guys, we know it's you?" she said, it coming out more like a question.

"Guys!!! Again!" the magenta sister screamed.

"Uh, Flare," Jazz whispered, "I don't think they're '_the_ Twins',"

Flareup gaped, "But-but, we haven't seen Sunny or Sides anywhere yesterday or today!"

"Don't turn your back on me!" the magenta one yelled drawing one of her swords.

"And-and she's great with swords. Sideswipe is the best swordsman here!" Flare began to debate.

"What, a _femme_ can't be a great sword wielder!!!"

"_Flare_! Back off!" Jazz instructed.

"Stay out of this mech," Swipe threatened placing the edge of her blade a few inches away from his vocal cords.

"Whoa! What's going on here!" Ratchet and Optimus yelled running over to them.

Flare pointed at them. "And I heard them talking last night! Something about 'Optimus, you're not going to believe this,'" Flare finished as her last weapon in this debate.

Optimus turned towards the red and orange fembot, "What are you talking about? You didn't hear it correctly, we couldn't believe that they were femmes!…er, I don't mean it, I-I didn't mean it that-"

"Don't talk Oppy!" Streaky growled, "This glitch can't even tell a femme from a mech!"

Flare rolled her optics and got face-to-face with Streaky. "Okay, you're a femme, prove it!"

Streaky and Swipie growled deeply making Flareup back off. But the two smirked, unbolted their front plates and flashed their upper chassis protoforms.

"Slag! Why don't I ever have a camera when I need it!" some mech wailed.

The Female Twins latched their armor back as Flareup's jaw dropped.

"Let the expert through," Bumblebee said grandly, "These two are in every way_ definitely_ femmes!"

Streaky and Swipie hooked arms, "And with that, we bid you all good day. The only reason the two of us came here was to help the Auto bots in _one_ way! But we have changed our minds. Thank you Flareup,"

"What did you want to contribute?" Optimus asked dumbfound.

Swipie cleared her throat; "We wanted to help _re-populate_ the Cybertronian race with as many different mechs as possible. We _were_ going to give up fighting and raise the sparklings to be great fighters while we processed more younglings at every chance,"

Flareup shrunk, "Oh…"

"Yeah…sucks for all of you." Streaky said smugly.

"What! No don't go! You have a great ass- I mean no! You're great assets to our team!" Jazz, Hound, Springer, and every other mech on Base pleaded as the twin girls turned to leave. "No! Beauties, don't go!!!"

"We can have beautiful sparklings together!"

"I'm willing to create dozens of sparklings! We all have to make sacrifices!"

"We don't have to have sparklings if you don't want! I'm just a free-bie!"

"Don't go! I want to learn more about the contributions you want to make!"

"Don't mind Flareup, she's just moody! We can solve this! You two, Flareup and me can all solve our problems together! _And_ we can solve the lack of sparklings problem! Everyone wins!"

The girls flipped the begging bots off as they opened the door to leave.

"Will you please?" pleaded a wise-aft Springer.

The door opened and Sideswipe stared at Streaky, a pile of armor in his arms. Sunstreaker almost slammed his chassis into Swipie's face, he too also with a large amount of armor.

"Um, hello?"

"Move it! We were just leaving!" the girls said stalking off.

"Wow, what's their problem?" the mechs said after the door slammed closed.

Everyone besides the Twins gaped.

"What? What, the fem-armor? Yeah, it was going to be for a prank, but we wimped out. Too stupid. Any of you girls want these?" Sideswipe explained holding out his curvy light pink armor.

"Wait, have you two been gone because you were building armor?"

"Yes, why?"

"Why didn't you use the armory?"

"We didn't want you all to find out,"

"Have you ever met those two femmes that just left before?"

"No. Who were they? Sorta cute."

Flareup received a mass amount of glares from the unmated mechs and she slumped back to her re-charge room.

* * *

**If you're confused, Streaky and Swipie weren't Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. This was a "giant coincidence" chapter. Sunny and Sides were going to dress up like femmes, but wimped out. They were building femme armor for that day and a half when Streaky and Swipie came.**

**Any more questions, please tell me! I'm happy to answer! ;)  
**

**The girls will probably be mentioned again later in the story, but not for a while.**

**Would you all mind if I added some OC's (original characters) that aren't,like, the entire story but add a few laughs every once in a while? Well, I'm using them anyways, but I still felt that I should ask.  
**

**Review please. :D  
**


	6. Quibbles and Fantasies

**I don't own Transformers (Hasbro) or Spiderman (Marvel/STERN)…unfortunately.**

**This chapter will seem a lot like a chapter from a great story called "If an Autobot, do NOT do the following" by hummergrey, but I thought this would be a good way to:**

**Get ready to meet (drum roll) my two main OC's!!!!**

**Sides and Sunny: "Oh…this can't end well can it?"**

**Me: (snickers)**

**

* * *

**

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were in the Training Room. Sides had jumped and caught onto a bar where he was doing chin-ups, his long arm muscles vibrated more each lift.

"One thousand nine hundred ninety-five," Sunny counted sitting on a mat, "One thousand nine hundred ninety-eight, comon' Sides, just two more and I can safely call you a _sparkling_! One thousand nine hundred ninety nine and a half…two thousand!"

With a loud vent, Sides let go and flat out, dropped to the ground venting heavily.

"My turn," Sunny said eagerly stepping on Sides's chassis to reach the bar easier.

"Oof!"

At one hundred thirty-six, one of the florescent lights went out when Ironhide mis-fired. A few minutes later (at two hundred forty three) a human female electrician who worked on site came in and opened the switch panel.

"Ahola bonito chica. Combo estas?" Sunstreaker asked the young girl.

"Wow," she said without looking up, "That's the worst incorrect Spanish I've ever heard. Tú es muy estúpido."

"Sorry, I don't speak French," Sunny called back entirely serious.

Sides slapped a hand to his face. "Only Sunny…"

"Watcha' doing beautiful?" Sunny persisted.

The attractive dirty blonde looked up as Sunny made sure to flex hugely that particular chin-up.

"I'm playing with the power box until something works," she said sarcastically.

"Wanna play with my power box, baby?"

"Finally!" Sides burst, "You finally came up with a decent pick-up line and no femmes are around to hear!"

"Can I just do me work?" the blonde said.

Sunny smiled, "That's good, I changed my name to 'My Work' yesterday,"

"And now you're back to being lame," Sides commentaried.

The liaison smiled fakely, "Well mine is 'Not Interested,'"

"Shot. Down." Ironhide mumbled setting his new targeting system.

Sunny continued to stare back at the blue-green hazel-eyed electrician. "Do I know you?"

She smirked, "Yeah, you stole my bus,"

His optics widened, "You're the girl who took the pictures on your cell phone! How'd you get here?"

"Correction. I'm _one_ of the girls who took pictures. After my friend and I took pics and when we practically memorized every aspect of them, NEST found us. We told them that we'd keep it secret if we could work here. We were going to a magnet school to learn theater and technology, so I was hired as a handy-woman,"

"Love to see you in action," Sunny said with a wink.

Ignoring him Sides asked, "What about your friend?"

"Rose?" Ironhide asked, "Yeah, right now she's working in the Rec Room. She's handy with machines, especially the arcade games; she fixes them. She visits Wheeljack and I a lot, though I tell her, for her safety, to stay away from Wheeljack."

"Why is that?" the new electrician asked.

As if on que, a large BOOM shook the walls, followed by a "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!" in a human female's voice.

"That was my reason…and that was her,"

The florescent light flickered back on, "There," she sighed and put her tools away. She began to walk out.

"Wait!" Sunny called, dropping from the bar at three hundred seventy-one chin-ups.

"What?" the girl asked spinning around.

"Wanna ride me sometime?"

The girl raised an eyebrow.

"Er, I mean, like I drive you out for some human food? I can do solid holoforms!"

"That, my yellow friend, is a contradiction,"

Sunny rolled his optics, "So, would you like to?"

She pursed her lips, "Um, maaaaaybe. Not sure if I can stand you yet. Talk to me later."

"What's your name?"

"Uh, just call me Agent X."

"Okay,"

The girl left as Ironhide crept behind Sunny. As soon as Agent X turned the corner, Ironhide whacked the younger mech hard on the back of the head.

"What the frag is wrong with you?"

"Ow! What?"

"She's a human, you're a mech. Do the math. Why are you interested anyways?"

Sunny laughed unamused, "I think it would be interesting. She's beautiful, witty. Besides, I'm a lonely mech, and Sides just doesn't cut it these days,"

"If you hurt her I any way, physically or mentally, I will offline you myself!"

"Yeah, yeah, okay Ironaft,"

"What did you just-"

"Hey! Shut up!" Agent X screamed over them. "Do not _quibble _over me or between yourselves. Lennox made it clear that we must keep an orderly Base because of random Decepticon attacks that could happen anytime. You shouldn't quibble if there is no need,"

Entirely blanking after the beginning of her statement, Sunstreaker picked upon one word, "Quibble?"

She looked smug, "Yes, to quibble- to fight over petty matters. It's my word of the day,"

"Okay, see you later Quibble," Sides joked.

"Quibble," Sunny breathed as Hide delivered another blow to his head.

* * *

While Sunstreaker surfed the Internet for favorite local human restaurants, Sideswipe wandered NEST aimlessly. He told his yellow brother searching 'Google: Human Restraunts' wouldn't get him far, yet he persisted.

The red mech walked past the Rec Room wondering if Agent X's friend was in there. To his luck, she was. At least, that's what he assumed.

A female pair of long legs clad in black jeans was the only part entirely visible from the girl bent over and into a human's pinball machine. A bright orange toolbox lay open at her feet, the upraised pinball table vertical.

"That doesn't look safe," Sideswipe stated aloud.

A girl with a bushy brown ponytail emerged from the cabinet of the machine.

"No, it's perfectly safe," she said gesturing towards the heavy board with a rainbow of clumped wires beneath it. "The table hooks into place so it doesn't fall over and kill me," She stepped away tapping the board, which then slammed down with a loud _crash_.

"Um…" she gulped.

"What were you doing in there anyways?" Sides had to ask.

A wide grin spread on her face, eager to share her information. "Okay, see that big black box? Well, that is a shaker motor that is now attached to the cabinet (the outside of the pinball machine)," she supplied, "So now, every time you get Black Suit Multiball the machine shakes!"

"Black Suit Multiball? Which pinball is that?"

"Spiderman of course! Actually," she said lovingly, "it's the rare Spiderman Black pinball with chrome webs around the flippers," she sighed, "Only 300 made, and Wheeljack got me one. God I love this machine." A wild look appeared in her eye, "Wheeljack said he'd help me make a replica of this only ginormous!" she said with outstretched arms, "You know, for youse guys." She smiled then finally asked, "What's your name?" she pressed the start button as theme music played.

He laughed at her bubbliness. "Sideswipe."

"Cool name. I'm Rose," she hit the flipper hard locking her third ball. "Look-look-look!" The entire pinball shook wildly as J. Jonah Jamenson's voice yelled "MULTIBALL!"

"Amazing!" Sides exclaimed totally immersed. Then he looked back at the beaming girl, "I just don't believe it,"

"Why? It's actually really simple, see that wire-"

"No. Not that."

"What?" she asked plopping down on the human-made couch then swinging upside down so that her feet were straight up while her hair brushed the floor.

"You're just so…comfortable. Most people scream."

She shrugged, "I don't know. You should have seen me when I first learned about this; I was jumping off the ceiling in excitement. I think maybe that my subconscious thinks this is all just a…" she searched for the right word, "fantasy."

"Alright _Fantasy_, does this feel real?" Sides poked her on the side.

She squirmed away, "Primus I hate that!"

"Did you just say 'Primus'?"

"Yeah, I'm slowly picking up Auto-bot lingo."

Sideswipe stared at her for a minute, she pretty also, like her friend Quibble/Agent X, but in totally different styles. Rose's eyes were green around the edges which faded to blue towards the center. Agent X's were the exact opposite.

"So like Agent X, slash, Quibble do you have any other names?" Sides asked.

"X told me about 'Quibble' which I love by the way. Um, I sometimes call myself Agent Y. But I do like the nickname Fantasy," she said flirtatiously.

There was a tapping at the Rec Room glass window. Ratchet beckoned Sideswipe over.

"Slag, the Hatchet wants me,"

Fantasy burst out in laughter. "The Hatchet! That's what you call him! I have to remember that! Hatchet and Ironass, Hatchet and Ironass," she burned into her memory.

Hesitating at the door, Sides asked, "Will I see you around?"

She nodded, "Whenever you get a chance, come see me," she looked at the vibrating pager on her hip, "Er, as of now, the eye scanner outside the building. Byes!"

Outside, Ratchet smiled, "Hello Rose."

"'Morning Hatchet!"

He glared at Sides while she ran off. "Sunny said it!"

Ratchet rolled his optics, "So, I see you've met Agent Y and Agent X."

"Yeah, she's great." Sides said as he watched the newly dubbed 'Fantasy' strut down the Base towards the giant double doors.

"Ironhide told me about Sunstreaker's fondness towards…what's her new pet name, Quibble? Do you like this girl-"

"Fantasy, I call her,"

"Fantasy. Sides, you do know that nothing can happen between you two. Now, I know you're single, and have been for some eons now, but there are plenty of Cybertronian femmes around here if you're that lonely."

"Yeah, a whole whopping seven femmes, and about half of them are already sparkmated. So four fembots divided into, say, 20 mechs around the Base, my chances are really good," sarcasm dripped in his voice. Sides cut Ratchet off. "Don't worry. The 'Agents' are just our friends."

Ratchet grunted, "Well this better not progress or else you're gonna have a slag load of people on your afts."

* * *

"Um. Mr?…er, General? Um…Mr. Optimus?" a timid Rose/Fantasy/Agent Y asked the giant robot.

"Hello Rose. Please, call me Optimus. What is it that you two need?" he asked acknowledging Agent X who stood beside her also.

"We need rides to our play practice…like, now. Not to rush you or anything."

"I'm sure there would be some volunteers to-"

"We'll do it!" the Twins exclaimed racing over. "You two can each have your own car."

The humans's wide blue-green eyes had practically come out of their skulls in surprise, but then Agent X responded, "Um, yeah. Sure. But you will have to stay the full 2 hours."

"That's okay."

The humans shrugged. "Okay," Rose continued. "Can you like, transform….now!"

The Lamborghini Twins did as they were instructed and had the girls to their practice about 4 minutes later.

* * *

For about a month, they began a routine. The Twins would drive the humans to their play practice and back then not be seen till next morning because of their constant talking all night.

Ratchet and Ironhide grew more irritated as the days went on. Ready to speak their minds to the Twins about this unacceptable behavior, they stopped short in front of the door.

"Oh, oh, yes! Yes!" a female _human_ voice squealed from inside.

"Stop wriggling, hold still…almost, almost, gah! Slipped off!" a _mech _voice responded.

The CMO and the Weapons Specialists locked optics. "That sounded a lot like-"

"Sides! Can you please let me take a break for a second! You're so persistent." Rose scolded.

"No," Sides growled, "You started it, you're finishing it!"

"Nuh-uh! Quibble started it!"

"No way!" Quibble yelled back, "I just followed along!"

Ratchet and Hide gagged at the sound of the second female's voice, then almost purged when they heard Sunny-

"Sides man, you're driving them too hard. Let me try."

Rose grunted, "Alright never mind, I'll go again. It's actually beginning to become sorta fun." The eavesdroppers pressed their sound receptors to the door. There was a sound of hydraulics hissing and metal being shifted.

"Ugh," Rose moaned, "Comon' deeper, comon' farther in, farther in, yes, oh, oh, so, close, one more, faster! No! Sideswipe!" she screamed. She sighed, "Oh, Sides, you let go too fast, but that's okay, that's been the best so far."

Hide covered his mouth trying not to release is tank fluids.

"You two are hopeless," Quibble jeered, "let Sunny and I show you how it's done."

"You want me to crouch over here behind you?" Sunny asked.

"Yep, perfect. Okay, dip in a lil-too much! Okay, dip in a little, little more, good. Perfect," she sighed heavily. "Sunny, push me in. Don't be afraid, push a little harder."

"But what if I hurt you?" he asked cautiously.

"Doesn't matter, it will be worth it in the end…Ugh! I can't….I can't…it's not long enough!"

"What do mean it's not long enough?" Sunny raised his voice. "I-"

"Sunny, Sides, we need to get a new one. Yours are all twisted and spent. We're gonna need something stickier. Something longer."

"Want me to go ask Optimus?"

Ratchet slumped to the floor trying t block it all out.

"No!" the humans said at once. "No, he can't know about this yet. Maybe Jazz, he seems pretty good with his hands and getting what he wants."

"Yeah, growing up with him, we've seen him in action before. He's unbelievable!" Sides said.

"Uh-huh. I didn't even know mechs could do some of the things he's shown me first hand."

Ironhide scanned through memories to see if he remembered Sunny and Jazz ever missing from an event.

"Oh, Fantasy, why'd you have to go and _flaunt_ it around?" Sides huffed.

She giggled, "Sorry, I couldn't refuse. I'd never seen something so big, I just had to play with it before it got used. I may never see something like it again!"

Sides murmured something then said louder, "Well then I guess we'll have to have a word with Lennox about that next we see him."

"WHAT!?" Ratchet and Ironhide both screamed. Hide slammed the door so the top hinge came off. Unsure to cover their optics, they didn't and burst in on the two couples. They all jumped back in surprise as Ironhide's cannon whirred with a blue glow from the end of it. "What are you slag heads doing in here?" he demanded.

The fully clothed female humans looked at him innocently. Each held a thick wire with gum at the end. "We-we were just trying to get the bill that fell down the vent."

Ratchet noticed the large vent unscrewed and open.

"Not just a bill!" Fantasy exclaimed. "A Benjamin! My hundred-dollar bill that I pity-earned for the work I do around here fluttered down that fricken ground vent! I've been working on getting the bugger for _hours_ now!"

Quibble rolled her eyes then slapped Rose on the arm. "Hours? It's been 15 minutes…dumbass."

"Whatever. So Sunny and Sides made these craptastic wires with my bubble gum at the end to try to grab it."

The CMO and WS, were dumbfounded. "So you four weren't-"

"Ugh!" Rose groaned practically lunging to get the Benjamin. "Their arms are too thick to reach down, and we're too short to reach the bottom, so they've tried to lower us down a bit while we reach to get it. Ugh! Mine!"

Ratchet just looked at the simple human, transformed his hand to a clamper and reached down the shaft to grab the bill. Rose took it from his claws and fist-pumped. "THANK-YOU RATCHY-POO!" she made thrusting motions with a stupid look on her face. "I got money, I got money, moneymoneymoney."

"Humans," Hide mumbled.

* * *

**I tried not to write too much about pinball machines, but I'm a real pinball-junkie and sometimes get carried away when I can talk about them without someone's eyes glazing over. My original rough draft (which I've already deleted) had about half a page just describing Fantasy's and Sides's game play which I figured would be too dull to read.**

**Also, this chapter was supposed to end with Fantasy and Quibble pretending to marry the Twins, but it just wouldn't pick up for me. You may have seen this kind of fanfiction chapter before, but it makes me laugh so I really wanted to incorporate it into my story.**

**On another note:**

**Welcome!!!!!**

**~Quibble/ Agent X/?**

**and**

**~Fantasy/ Agent Y/ Rose**

**Whoo!!! *confetti* Whoo!!! *confetti***

**Fantasy: "Oo, I like this author!"**

**Quibble: "Wish I could say the same..."**


	7. Pick Up Lines

**Thank you 'gotlines' for most of these pickup lines!**

**Note: ~protoform= human equivalent of skin**

**~tank= human equivalent of stomach**

**Get ready to meet other of my somewhat OC. She'll just pop up every once in a while.  
**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! MY GOAL IS TO HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF FOR THIS LITTLE CHAPTER. ENJOY!!!!!!!  
**

**

* * *

**

"This is crazy," Sunny murmured, his face _thisclose _to the computer screen in the Recreational Room.

Sides looked up from the giant robot equivalent of a pinball machine that he had been helping Fantasy and Quibble create.

"What's crazy? Besides you…"

"I can't believe it, I searched 'Robot Pickup Lines' on Google and they actually have some! And they're great!"

"Oh no, not you and pickup lines,"

"Ohmigosh!" Fantasy exclaimed, her frizzy head popping up from the cabinet of the pinball machine, "I love reading pick up lines! But I hate when they're used on me. Here's my favorite:" she cleared her throat and turned to Quibble who was also in the cabinet, "Hey Agent X, the word of the day is 'legs,' so lets go to my place, and spread the word."

Quibble laughed, "That is soo wrong, but so great! Oo! I have one too: Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants."

"Nice one,"

"Hey, I have one for you too Sunny, but I'll have to change it a bit: You _compute_ me."

"Sunny!" Sides practically screamed, "Print out those pages, we have some research to do!"

After the pages printed, the Twins left the Rec Room and placed the folded papers behind their chassis armor for later.

"Lock on target," Sunny said pointing towards Elita 1 who was tightening something on her leg revealing her thigh's protoform.

"I got this one," Sides said holding Sunny back. The red mech strode grandly up to Optimus's sparkmate.

She saw him, then suddenly seemed embarrassed from exposing some of her protoform, but it was too late to reattach it now.

Sides leaned against the wall and slowly ran his optics over her.

"Hello Sideswipe," she said cautiously waiting for him to blow up or something.

"Good afternoon Elita," he flashed a winning smile, "If I told you that you have an amazing protoform, would you hold it against me?"

Elita (using the human term) blushed a bit and continued to fix her leg.

"Do you re-charge on your tank?"

Elita raised an optic ridge, "Um, I don't think I do,"

"Can I?"

Elita grinned, "Yeah, you can share with Optimus,"

"Oo, harsh,"

She took a wrench and placed her armor back on. She turned the tool in a few complete circles to tighten the bolts.

Sideswipe growled, "Oo baby, the way you're screwing those bolts are making my processors heat up…but don't worry, I like a femme with nuts,"

Elita couldn't help but snort out in laughter. She covered her mouth to tame her outburst. Meanwhile, Sunny bit on his hand trying not to expose himself listening in on their conversation.

"Okay Sides, that's enough," she said pointing behind him.

He didn't notice her gesture as he tried to sneak a peek at his list, "Elita! What's that in your optic?"

She reflexively looked up and began to reach for her faceplates.

Sides smiled, "Oh, it's a sparkle,"

Someone cleared his throat behind Sideswipe. He turned around slowly to face Optimus Prime, arms crossed looking unhappy.

"Sideswipe, is that an iPhone in your armor, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Harsh," Elita said adding a commentary jokingly.

"Whoa! Optimus got game," he snuck a glance at Elita, "and a beautiful femme," Sides looked back at his frowning superior. "Bye," he finished, spiriting back to his brother.

Running off, he ran into Firestar.

"Hey Star,"

"Hi Sides, 'sup?"

"Nothing. Wanna make-out sometime?"

She looked off guard. "Um…"

Sunny grabbed Sides's arm and dragged him away from the young, stunned femme.

Looking for their next victim, they came by a female sergeant patrolling the Base.

"Hello ma'am, er, Sergeant V.L. Sixteen."

The attractive young brown haired liaison turned towards them. "Can I help you?"

It was Sunny's turn, "Do you sleep with strangers?"

She blinked. "N-no?"

Sunny held out a hand, "In that case, hi, my name is Sunst-"

"Sunstreaker. Twin to brother Sideswipe. Interests in art, swordsman ship, and…himself. I've memorized all the Auto-bot profiles."

"Primus," Sunny continued, "You must be a general, because my privates just snapped to attention,"

Her mouth turned upwards, but controlled as she looked up to the heavens most likely counting to ten instead of bribing Ironhide to kill him on the spot.

"At ease solider." Sideswipe joked.

"Good evening Twins," Sgt. Sixteen concluded walking off briskly in the opposite direction.

"She's cute, for a human,"

"OOOoooooo, wait till I tell Agent X!"

About to slap his brother, they spotted the one they had been training for. The big fish, the grand prize, the final round for double and all the points…

Arcee.

Sunny turned to his twin, "Sides, do you plan on having sparklings one day?"

"I suppose. I've had practice enough with you; it would be nice to take care of a sparkling my own in the future. Why?"

Without warning, Sunny jammed his knee in between Sides' legs causing the red mech to double over in pain.

"Gah!"

"Sorry, but I've just decreased those chances by half," Taking advantage of his brother's agony, he jogged over to the fembot, "Arcee!"

"Oh no," she mumbled, she attempted to run, but Sunny caught her arm. He spun her around and looked at her hip, "Is that a mirror I your anodized titanium exterior plating? Because I can see myself in your service port,"

She groaned guessing where this conversation was leading.

"Arcee? Do you have Intel inside?"

"What! No! Are you fragged?"

"Would you like some?" he pulled her into an embrace, but she shoved him away. Sideswipe finally managed to limp over. "Wow, you look amazing today. You're turning my software into hardware, baby."

Arcee growled, "Are you two done yet?"

Sides straightened, "Not even close. But, I did come here for a reason…Ratchet sent me to do a minor physical on everyone. Now, would you mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?"

Sunny caught on, "If you have an empty slot, I have a card to fill it."

"You two are gross. But I will answer, 'yes, I would mind' and 'not in your dreams.'"

"Good, robots don't have dreams,"

"I was hoping, you wouldn't block my pop-up." Sunny finished.

Arcee shook her head as she sighed in disbelief.

"So, your place or mine?" Sunny asked.

Arcee made a dramatic thinking expression, then said, "Hmmm, oh! I know! Both! I'll go to my place, and you go to yours! Byes!"

She skipped off.

"Shot."

"Down."

* * *

The Twins were back in their room, waiting for someone to come in and yell at them.

"Hey man, I'll be back in a second," Sides said going to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to lubricate. Mind your own damn business," he said as he left.

Sunny spun in his swivel chair, "Swivel, swivel, swivel," he murmured in his bored-ness. Suddenly, the door handle turned, "Sides? Back already?"

Firestar stood in the door.

She walked in and locked the door behind her. She wore thin plating that started and ended at her chassis, unusual for her.

Sunstreaker gulped, unsure of what to do. "You here to make-out with Sides? He just left."

She smiled and dragged a finger along his desk as she neared him, "No…not Sideswipe,"

Sunny inhaled like he had been shocked as Firestar strut seductively around his chair, "Sunny, are you wearing under plating?"

"Um, yes?"

She looked at the clock, "Damn, my internal timer must be 15 minutes fast," she traced her finger on his pink cheek plate, which sent a shiver down his frame. She sat backwards in the chair, on his legs that so they were face-to-face. Sunny was frozen.

"How about I sit here on your lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up," she grinned and she drew her face close to his, but not touching, "Oo, her ecomes a topic now," she giggled.

Sunstreaker eased her off, and then leapt from his seat. "Uh…I have to go find Sides and lubricate," he said then sprung out the door.

After Sunny was out of vision, a group of fembots plus Sideswipe gathered and high-fived. "Great job girls," he congratulated, "Thanks for helping me get pay back for…yeah," he said looking down sadly at his waist armor that Sunny's knee had gotten up-close-and-personal with.

Firestar sighed, "Just like a mech. They act tough up until the point when a femme makes a move,"

Sideswipe laughed softly taking her hand, "Well, I stick to my word. Now, about what I said before," Sideswipe grabbed Firestars' small waist, dipped her to the side and kissed her for at least five minutes before surfacing.

* * *

**Hope as always that you enjoyed this chapter! It's been a while since I've written anything romantic, so I just had to insert that little detail at the end. Oh, and to make it clear, the Twins AREN'T in love with Agent X/Quibble and Agent Y/Fantasy/Rose. They've just become very good friends.  
**

**Most of these lines I found on and other various sites that I found when I searched "Robot pickup lines" on Google.**

**Sorry if I sorta grossed anyone out at the end with Firestar's "Wait till something pops up…" but I love pick up lines, and that one was the first one I had ever heard (or at least understood) so I had to pay some tribute to it.**

****Girls, if a guy ever says that to you, and you don't like him or want to be clever, a good comeback is, "I guess we won't have much to talk about then. At least nothing big."**

*****Also, if you all liked this, I'll make another pick-up lines chapte later on.  
**


	8. Wii, Shirts, and Ebay

**I've been looking at my reivews, and it seems that 75% of you are good friends of mine.**

**THANKS SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO I'M NOT AS FAMILIAR WITH, YOU ROCK!!!!**

**So, my point is that, I'm gonna just have a lot of fun with this story. A little seriousness, but not as much as I was going to do.**

**I still have two "OC's" that I want to add, but just wait a few chapters! I'm sure you all will like them! **

**I also still need to reveal Quibble/Agent X's real name. Any guesses?**

* * *

The Twins strode into Wheeljack's lab. "Wow," they breathed, taking in everything. They stopped by at least once every other week, but they couldn't believe how many new inventions Wheeljack had been able to make between each visit.

"Hey guys," Wheeljack greeted.

"Hey. Have anything for us to play with?"

Suddenly mad, Jack slammed his screwdriver onto the table, "I've told you two a hundred times before, I will _not_ make a pair of mindless fembots for you to just-"

"Nononono! We don't mean _that_!" Sunny paused, "Though were were thinking about how our future wives were doing."

"Oh, sorry. But no, haven't made anything new lately. 6 explosions out of 5 new inventions, so I'm not lending anything out right now."

"Ouch."

"Yeah..."

Sunny's optics fixated on an engine-looking thing on Wheeljack's desk that was beginning to shake and radiate tendrils of smoke.

"Uh, okay, bye Jack, see you later!" Sunny rushed, nudging his brother to move, "Maybe..." he added under his breath.

KABOOM.

The blast propelled the Twins forward into heaps 50ft from the lab. Sides coughed up a cloud of black smoke. "After Ratchet is done with us, I say we take it easy today."

A screaming Wheeljack flew past them.

"Agreed, to the computer." Sunstreaker gasped.

**[3 HOURS LATER]**

"So, what now?" Sides asked his brother after a grumbling Ratchet had repaired them.

"We can delve into our 'rainy day funds.'"

"Did you just use the word 'delve'?"

"Yes, I heard Quibble say it once."

"I'll have to tell them later."

"_Anyways_, we have all that human paper saved up, but I don't think the local Mall has our size in Marc Eckos or Juicy bags. What can we even spend it on?"

A common thought crossed their processors. "Ebay." they said together. They ran to the Rec Room then fought over who got the super-sized chair momentarily; Sunny victorious.

"Okay...'Ending Soon'," Sunny clicked on the link, "Ending in one minute," he read aloud, "1 minute till a brand new Wii package is sold. A Wii, two Wii games, two consoles. The last bid is for $150. Should I bid?"

"Yes! Maybe we can get it really cheap."

Sunny bid $160.

Suddenly, PigMaster413 bid $200. Sunny glanced at the ticking timer which showed 45 seconds left.

"I'll try again," Sunny voiced his thoughts aloud and put in a bid for $400.

PigMaster413 added another bid for $450.

"Once more," and Sunny typed in $500.

PigMaster413 pulled out.

"Victory is mine!" shouted Sunny as Sides sighed at his brother's enthusiasm. '37 seconds' flashed red. At 35 seconds, ladiesman217 bid $550.

Sunny bid $650.

"We only have $2,000. And we've been saving that little sum for 3 years. Be careful." Sideswipe warned.

Ladiesman217 flashed as the highest bidder with $730 at '29 seconds'.

"Sunny! Pull out! We can always get it cheaper somewhere else," Sides reasoned, talking with super-fast robotic speed.

"Yeah, yeah, but now 'ladiesman' is really starting to piss me off."

DevilDuo (aka Sunny and Sides's account) bid $1,200. Suddenly an email from ladiesman217 flashed through. "Comon' I'm trying to win this for some friends of mine!"

"No fragging way!" Sunstreaker exclaimed, punching in $1,600.

"Sunstreaker! You moron! He didn't bid yet! Pull out!"

Ladiesman217 flashed beside $2,000.

12 seconds.

"Sunny, don't do it, Sunny, no!" Sides lunged at his brother, tackling him to the floor.

"Hey guys, do you know where the glitter glue is?" Quibble asked as she and Fantasy stepped into the Rec Room, Rose holding a clipboard. Their eyebrows raised at the brother's weird position.

"No! I must win! Ladiesman217 cannot win!" Sunny shoved off his brother and at 5 seconds placed a bid for $2,500.

The humans exchanged glances, then left.

At 1 second, ladiesman217 bid $2,500 and 25 cents, thus winning the bid.

"Son of a glitch!" Sunny screamed.

About to yell at him about his self-control, Sides along with his brother heard a loud:

"YES! I WON!" echo from down the hall in the human cafeteria.

They faced each other, "No fraggin' way."

"Not possible."

"No way."

They peered in and of course saw the last human they would have wanted to see.

Sam Witwicky.

"Twins, get in here! You won't believe this! I won something great for all of you! You think Wheeljack can make some super-sized game controls, right? I bought a Wii for the Base. I just won it!"

Sunstreaker sighed, "Yeah, and I just lost."

Sam's grin vanished from his face, "Oh shit, please tell me you two aren't-"

"DevilDuo?"

Sam stared at the big black letters on the screen that stated that we owed HPluverboi33 $2,500.25 for a Wii, consoles, and games.

"Oh my god. Two and a half grand."

"And twenty-five cents," Sunny corrected. He received a dirty look from Sam.

"Oh god, this was so not worth it. Got any cash?"

"Nope, tapped out." Sunny replied. "But you can have this." and he threw a quarter at the human.

Sam stared intently at Sunstreaker. "Sideswipe, how much do you think I'd get for recycling Sunstreaker?"

Sideswipe sighed, "I've been pondering that lately, I believe around a thousand and 2 thousand dollars."

* * *

About a week later, when the package came in and the humans began hitching the system into the giant TV, Rose and Quibble walked in, watching the males fight over where each wire should go, the direction booklet still in the box.

A random thought crossed Sunny's database. "Hey girls, why did you need glitter glue? Just wondering."

An unamused Sgt V.L. Sixteen stepped up and answered for the grinning girls. "Because they made T-shirts."

"We made one for you too Sixteen!"

"What kind of T-shirt?" Sides asked, afraid of the answer.

Rose turned around so they could read her black shirt. In letters that looked like they were dripping blood, it read:

"_I survived: Optimus's wrath. Or in other words, my face is still intact._"

Quibble turned around also, revealing what hers said under her light brown hair, "_I survived: A menopausal Ratchet._"

Sideswipe face-palmed himself while Sunny doubled over in laughter.

"And we have many more!" Rose exclaimed throwing Sgt. Sixteen's shirt back at her.

Sixteen held it up and read it aloud, "Mine says _'I survived: Walking past Ironhide and Chromia's open door. I may have survived, but I didn't maintain my sanity'_."

"Oo! And I made one for you Rose," Quibble smirked, "Because it's one of your favorite places to be."

Rose snatched the shirt and read, " '_I survived: Wheeljack's lab_.' Awesome! Thanks!"

"I'm afraid to ask, what others do you have?" Sides winced.

Rose, Quibble, and Sixteen took turns.

"_I survived: A PMS-ing fembot._"

"'_I survived: A PMS-ing Mikeala'_...that one is Sam's."

"_I survived: A menopausal Judy Witwicky._"

"_I survived: A menopausal Ironhide._"

"_'I survived: Ratchet's physical'..._I want to give these out at the door of his med bay._"_

"_I survived: Ironhide's training."_

"_'I survived: resurrecting Optimus, a resurrected Megatron, dying, coming back to life, a mother with marijuana brownies, a crazy roommate, an alien war, and a bunch of other shit!'..._Hmm, who should we give this one to, Agent X?_"_

"_I survived: Wearing this T-shirt before Prowl makes a rule about it."_

"You two need a hobby," Sunstreaker commented cutting them off before they listed another 20.

"We've just created one, _'I survived'_ T-shirts!" Agent X said smartly.

"One second," Fantasy sighed as she waked over to the throng of men. Pushing them all aside, she looked at the wires and at the ports on the back of the TV. Within 30 seconds, she had correctly rewired the Wii to the TV and added HD. "Leave it to a psychopath to do a man's work. Tra-la-la."

Quibble and Fantasy skipped off, muttering about new T-shirt slogans.

"We need new friends." Sunstreaker sighed.

"To the computer!"

* * *

**Any T-shirt ideas? ;D**


	9. Super Smash Brothers Brawl

**For the record, I'm a TOTAL Smash brothers Brawl (and Melee) geek. My favorite character in the world is Samus Aran/Zero Suit Samus, second is Pit, third is Zelda (but she has to be dark-Zelda or some call her shadow-Zelda) and forth is Kirby.**

**I don't own anything Transformers or any of the Smash Bros. characters said here or the arenas.**

**Also, most of the things that happen in this chapter have either happened to me, or to one of my family members while playing.**

* * *

**Enjoy!**

"Comon' Sunny, just one game with Sam, Mikaela, and I! It will be fun! I swear, it's a great game!"

"No! I will not play Super Smash Brothers Brawl with you!"

"Why not!"

"Because I hate that Wii machine!"

"Why?"

"Because I got to 'Pro' level in the Bowling game which meant that I got to use a glittery bowling ball. Then my status dropped below the 'Pro' level and they took away my shiny ball! I want my sparkly balls!" Sunny complained.

"That's what she said," Sides joked.

"Don't even start!"

Firestar had just walked by also, and was now frozen mid-step only hearing the end of the conversation. "Um…I'm sure Ratchet would give them back?" she croaked then walked away briskly.

Sides rolled his optics knowing he'd have to explain that later. "Comon' I'll win you back your…" he looked around before saying, "sparkly balls later, _after_ a game of Brawl."

Sides tightened Sunny's wrist strap so that it wouldn't fly off if he got mad at the game. Wheeljack was able to make them special robot-equipped Nuncucks and Consoles which were giant Wii remotes with a real Wiimote in the middle but the big buttons that the mechs pressed were wired to press the regular Wiimote's buttons...Wheeljack had too much time on his hands.

"So how do I play?"

Sam and Sides together tried to teach Sunny the different buttons, but got mixed up and finally decided that Sunny would figure it out for himself.

"Pick your character," Sides instructed, already having picked Fox. Sam chose Donkey Kong and Mikaela took her place as a dark-Zelda as always.

"Well, who's good?"

"They're all good, in their own way…as soon as you learn the right buttons to push,"

"That's what she said!" Sam exclaimed.

"I said not to start that!" Sunny grumbled. "Wow, look at this goof." He said pointing at Samus Aran, a robot. "This is a disgrace to robo-kind!"

"Just pick one!" Mikaela screamed at them, geeked-up and ready to shoot some magic.

"Okay, okay!" Sunny hastily picked Samus Aran and then Sam picked the _Norfair _arena.

"_3…2…1…GO_!" the announcer yelled.

Samus (Sunny) turned into a bomb, but then rolled off the stage.

"What! Re-do, re-do!" Sunny yelled at the plasma.

"Dude, take it easy, you still have 3 more lives,"

Samus re-appeared suddenly on a floating disc. Sunny pressed 1 and an electrical ball of energy formed at the end of the robot's cannon.

"Whoa! That's awe-some! How do I-" Samus let go of the energy mass which hit Fox sending him spiraling off screen. "Wicked! I love this DUDE!"

Sam exchanged glances with Mikky. "Should we tell him?"

"Nah."

Sunny learned quickly how to shoot missiles and make the energy balls, and then he regrettably learned about the 'Picture' mode.

Samus shot Zelda (Mikaela) with a heat seeker, which made her blow-up, but not die, as she plummeted downward, Sunny accidentally hit the 'Plus Sign' button on the console. The screen froze.

"What happened?"

"Do you want to take a picture? We still have 200 blocks left of picture space."

Sunny took the picture and saved it. Except by accident, his picture's focus switched to Zelda. Sam, Sides, and Sunny burst out laughing.

"Stop it you perverts!" Mikky scolded.

From way Zelda was falling, and the way that the camera was zoomed, one could see under her dress.

"Nice leggings! Wait, she doesn't wear panties? Stupid leggings!"

Sam cat-whistled.

Frustrated, Mikaela growled the best a human could, but must have been enough because the game resumed.

A chime was heard and Sunstreaker watched Zelda turn into a ball of light, then-

"She's a cross dresser!" Sunny exclaimed.

"No! In this form she's just faster than dress-Zelda," and as if proving her point, Sheik (Zelda/Mikaela) hit the remaining characters.

"_Game!_"

"No way! Re-do!"

At the end of their next game, Sunny had reduced their picture block space to 16. Sunny's favorite being the one where Wario (Sides) tried to bite Peach (Sam…don't ask) as she butt-blasted him (Brawl humor), thus a very funny picture. Another of his favorites was when Peach kicked up high and Pit (Mikaela) had an arrow pointed at her…just imagine.

"If you take one more picture I'm gonna rip out your interface cables! You too Sam!" Mikky screamed, annoyed that a usually 5 minute game was taking a half hour because of the frequent interruptions.

Sunny ran towards Peach as Samus again, but Peach deflected him with…Toad?

"Where does she keep the little guy?" asked Sunny.

"Up her dress. I don't know!" yelled Sides.

"No wonder he's so happy…"

Then Peach yanked a random onion out of the ground, and then Sam (using the Gamecube remote) swung at them with a tennis racket and then a long driver (golf club).

"Where is she getting all this stuff? I've zoomed in on her under coats and I didn't see _any_ of these things! That mushroom dude must be having a party or something up there in the layers of the petticoats."

Then Sides, Sam, and Mikky gasped.

"What is that?"

"It's a Smash Ball, get it! It will give you an awesome power!"

All the players leapt towards the silver glowing sphere, "Go, go go, Samus! You can do it man! Comon' boy! Jump, jump! What? I hit it! But it didn't give it to me- Yay! Oh yeah! My man Sammy got it! You da _man_!…Now what do I do!" Sunstreaker's character was glowing and ready to attack as the other characters jumped all over the screen wanting to avoid the coming horror of the Super Smash- Samus.

"Press 1!"

"No, for Samus you press 2!"

"Just press all the buttons!" Mikky yelled over the other mech and boy.

Sunny did and suddenly a giant atomic blast of energy burst rapidly from Samus's large cannon.

"OH MY PRIMUS! THAT IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! FRAG! LOOK AT THAT, THAT'S AWESOME!" Sunny shrieked.

Then the blast ceased with a chorus of "Ahhh!" from the other three players as they flew from the area.

"_Player Two, defeated_,"

Sides sat back, his Wario dead. "Hey, Sunny, look what's happening to yo' _boi_ Samus,"

Samus was glowing. And then 'his' armor fell off, revealing a beautiful-

"Meet _Zero Suit Samus_," Sam announced proudly to Sunny. "Oo, and don't you just love that _Zero Suit_…Mm-mm- good. Keeps true to the meanings of 'zero.'" Sam took a picture of the female Zero Suit Samus as she rose from her shattered armor.

Sunny's jaw hinge dropped. "Wait, my _boy _Samus is really my _girl_ Samus?" Sunny said dumbfounded.

Sides nodded, "Yep,"

"Are you sure?"

Sideswipe rolled his optics. "Do you like, _not_ see the D-cups on that chic? But watch out, she's hard to control; she's a lot more flexible and faster that regular Samus…and you just jumped off the stage. Don't worry, you have one more life."

Sunstreaker was still shocked. "Has he..er, she always been a girl?"

"Yeah, freaked a lot of people out when they first created her game, _Metroid _a billion years ago. At the end of the game, they showed her without the armor and she was almost always in a bikini or less."

Sunny's character picked up a Poké-Ball at Mikaela's last Pit thus defeating the angel.

"_Game_!"

Zero Suit Samus flipped around in the winner's circle and struck a pose.

Sgt. V. L. Sixteen just peered into the room and saw the busty zero-suited animation female on the 200x175 plasma screen.

"_What_, are you all playing?" she asked.

* * *

**Story time! Some of the events that happened to me:**

**I once screamed, "I want my shiny ball back! They took it from me!" in front of my family and received some odd looks after my beloved Wii bowling ball was taken from me.**

**When I first became addicted to Melee (which came before Brawl, for those who don't know) I flipped out the first ten times I watched Samus Aran make the energy balls and then I went atomic in amazement (repeating something along the lines of what Sunny said) when Brawl came out and the 'Smash Ball' was added to the game for maximum-awesomeness!**

**Another time, I was talking to one of my guy-friends (not BF) about Brawl and accidentally said, "I love Samus, **_**he**_**'s amazing!"**

**I've never lived that down…**

**Also with my guy-friend, he would drool over Zero-Suit Samus a lot.**

**The pictures, I went to a friend's house for a birthday party, and we all played Brawl…Sort of, we took a bunch of perverted pictures since we're geeky, some of which I described in the Fanfiction.**

**Finally, my younger sister went nuclear when she saw Zero Suit Samus for the first time. "She's a girl! Why didn't you tell me! Was she always a girl…even in the first one? Wow, really? She's pretty!"**

**Oh, and my Mom's infamous quote was given to Sgt. V. L. Sixteen.**

**Many of you probably skipped my little memory section, but for the .2% of people who read about my past experiences, thank you!**

**Review! Please!**


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